“EHHHHHH..UGGGGGHHHHH…EAHHHH”
-Chris Berman, making some sort of guttural noise & passing it off as NFL analysis.
An entire year of ESPN’s NFL Rankings in chart form. I’m going to need some Advil. A lot of it.
I’m almost shocked that the Packers didn’t nose dive after their one and only loss to the Kansas City Chiefs.
2011 NFL Rankings by ESPN
I like to get together with some internet pals over at Fark to discuss ESPN’s rankings every week. We were always complaining about how erratic they seemed, so I decided to start graphing the new rankings every week. This is the final product for this regular season. Teams are sorted on the left by their Week 1 rank. Sorry if it makes everyone go cross-eyed. That’s kind of the point. :)
“I haven’t got a speech. I didn’t plan words. I didn’t even try to. I just knew I had to get here, to stand here and I knew I wanted you to listen, to really listen. Not just pull a face like you’re listening like you do the rest of the time, a face that you’re feeling instead of processing.
“You pull a face and poke it towards the stage, and we lah-di-dah, we sing and dance and tumble around. And all you see up here, it’s not people, you don’t see people up here it’s all fodder. And the faker the fodder, the more you love it, because fake fodder’s the only thing that works any more. Fake fodder is all we can stomach. Actually, not quite all; real pain, real viciousness, that, we can take.
“Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole and we’ll laugh ourselves feral, because we’ve earned the right. We’ve done cell time and he’s slacking, the scum, so ha-ha-ha at him! Because we’re so out of our minds with desperation, we don’t know any better. All we know is fake fodder and buying shit. That’s how we speak to each other, how we express ourselves is buying shit.
“What, I have a dream? The peak of our dreams is a new app for our Dopple, it doesn’t exist! It’s not even there! We buy shit that’s not even there. Show us something real and free and beautiful. You couldn’t. Yeah? It’ll break us. We’re too numb for it. I might as well choke. It’s only so much wonder we can bear. That’s why when you find any wonder whatsoever; you dole it out in meagre portions.
“And only then until it’s augmented, packaged, and pumped through 10,000 pre-assigned filters till it’s nothing more than a meaningless series of lights, while we ride day in day out, going where? Powering what? All tiny cells and tiny screens and bigger cells and bigger screens and f**k you!
“F**k you, that’s what it boils down to. It’s f**k you for sitting there and slowly making things worse. F**k you and your spotlight and your sanctimonious faces. F**k you all for thinking the one thing I came close to never meant anything. For oozing around it and crushing it into a bone, into a joke. One more ugly joke in a kingdom of millions. F**k you for happening. F**k you for me, for us, for everyone. F**k you!”
Black Mirror | 15 Million Merits | (X)
Heres a question that’s on no-ones mind, who is most likely to succeed: Detroit Lions or Denver Broncos? It would just be fucking awesome if they both made the playoffs, not so much if your a steelers or saints fan, but if either get through to the superbowl im gonna have a field day at the bookies.
